Monster Cookies

To Bikini or Not to Bikini

Author: Amber

…that is the question.

A few days ago, I was wandering through a large department store near my home, and saw a large section of swimsuits. Since I had some time, I took a look at what was there, and even {gasp} tried some on.

I hesitated to write about this here, but it’s not really a secret, so why not, right? I am one who has been bless’d with chest. This blessing makes buying clothes a stressful quest. Why, you ask? Well, my butt? Extra small. My shoulders? Extra small. My legs? Petite. My chest…not small and not petite.

You might be able to imagine the joy I felt when stores started offering mix ‘n’ match two piece swimsuits* in wide varieties of colours and patterns.

*There was a time, more than 10 years ago, that Jon and I made our own mix ‘n’ match bikini for me to buy from another department store that we visited. Not the most honest thing, but we did pay full price for it, at least.

Anyway, back to my story. I have had a pretty positive body image lately and that little voice in my head was saying, “Self, you should definitely try on a bikini. This could be the year you are brave enough to pull it off. C’mon, just try one!”

So I grabbed a few pieces and Claire and I headed to the fitting rooms.

I was hopeful as I pulled the bottoms of the first one on, and was pleasantly surprised at how my flabbiness did not bubble up over the edges. Score! I tied on the top and that pleasant feeling dissipated faster than you can say blarf. Definitely NOT the look I was going for. Undeterred, though, I tried on the second suit, and again had to bite my tongue before the negative words flowed from my brain to my mouth and out onto the floor.

I don’t know why, but I went back for more. The third suit offered way more support (and coverage!) in the chest area, but it still wasn’t quite right (too loose and unadjustable, if you are wondering) and I actually laughed out loud (good thing Claire was in there with me, babbling away, so the neighbours didn’t think I was a crazy).

I didn’t buy a new swimsuit that day. What I did do, is come home and try on the two-piece that I already have. A two-piece with a top that covers my belly and bottoms that more closely resemble shorts than panties. I like it - quite possibly even more than I did before. It didn’t make me blarf or spout obscenities. If I ever buy another bathing suit, I sure hope I can find another just like the one I already have.

My answer to the age-old question, to bikini me or not to bikini me, would be: NOT to bikini me. Please (says the voice in my head).

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 6th, 2010 at 3:06 pm and is filed under News, Parenting, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.