Monster Cookies

The Preschool Predicament

Author: Amber

Well, as many of my facebook friends are aware, preschool continues to be a thorn in Andrew’s side. An ugly poky thorn that twists and turns and tears him to bits at least two mornings per week, three if you count Sunday school as preschool, and even more if preschool happens to be mentioned on any other day that it doesn’t happen on.

He simply does not want to be there.

When we ask him why he cried and stood by the door for 2 hours, he shyly states, “Because Daddy left me there.”

The teachers try to get Andrew involved. They show him cool crafts that he doesn’t want to do, they read great books that he doesn’t want to hear, they pick him up and carry him over to the fun so that he can see how great it is, but he returns to his post by the door and cries. And wails. And whines. For two hours straight.

Yesterday, he went to school, all spiffed up and shiny for picture day. We told him to smile nice because we were going to give these pictures to his grandmas and grandpas. He said he would, for sure! Jon dropped him off in his class and went on to run some errands. Two hours later, he was back to pick up Andrew, and the news was not positive.

Andrew mostly stood by the door crying until clean up time, which starts 15 minutes before the end of class. The teacher had to carry him to the photographer and hold his name card for him, but in the end a picture was not taken due to the tears. Andrew cried through the class picture as well, sitting where he was placed for long enough for a picture to be snapped, but he then returned to the door, where he waited.

It has been 1.5 months. There have been somewhere around 12 classes. He hasn’t cried every time. I heard that he had a blast on the pumpkin hunt field trip. He came home with a craft that he actually did himself on Halloween. And there was that one class where the magic marshmallows really did work…

I rarely just come out and ask for advice, but yesterday I did it. I asked hundreds of people, parents and not, to give me advice. I asked what they would do if they were me. I needed to know if what I thought I should do is what everyone else would do. I needed to know if I was just being a soft mommy that people would make fun of in the end.

I needed to know if I should really go through the embarrassment and hassle* of letting Andrew win this one, of letting him stay home with me instead of doing something I think is much more exciting and wonderful for him.

*The hassle I speak of is figuring out all the financials of preschool - getting back the money that I should get back, etc. I am NOT good with confrontation like that.

I have been hit with a resounding wall of, “Pull him out!” and a tiny whisper from less than 5 people urging me to give it another month to see how he does.

This exactly parallels the conflict that has been going on within me for the past 1.5 months.

The whispers remind me of Andrew’s friend, A, who has been Andrew’s “shy” buddy, and that they were going into this together, being a support to each other. How can I pull Andrew away from that?

The whispers tell me that there is a good chance we’ll go through this again next year if we don’t battle it now. And a good chance that Kindergarten the following year will be even worse.

The whispers hiss to me that Andrew needs this for his social and intelligence development; that there is no way he will get the same mental stimulation from me at home. Then how will he be smart like his brothers when he starts school?

The whispers scream truths that are so near and dear to my heart that even the resounding, “Pull him out!” is made quieter by them.

But I think that everyone is right. I love Andrew and I love having him around. His smile brightens my day and I have to say that even when he is angry and misbehaving I sometimes struggle to hide my smile at his determination. I don’t want him to be hurting, sad, anxious or worrying. A three-year-old shouldn’t know anxiety like this!

It is crazy to me that this whole situation is brand new to me. You’d think by my third kid I would have some experience here, but I don’t. Daniel and Josh were the “Bye Mommy, when are you leaving, how come you haven’t left yet?” type of kids when it came to preschool and Sunday school.

That is so not the case with this one. Please pray for me as I face my fears to calm the fears of my little one.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 at 10:08 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.