Monster Cookies

Wordless Wednesday

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

From 2004-12-20

Posted in Photos | 2 Comments »

Confessions

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

This is normally a post I’d not share publicly, but since it has to do with Christianity and we are called to hold each other accountable, I figured I might as well post it here, at least to know that we aren’t alone in this (or maybe to learn that we are)!

We have not been to church since November 16.  That was five weeks ago.  In Jon’s and my ten years of marriage, I’m quite sure that we haven’t missed more than two weeks in a row, and that has been a very rare occurrence.  Even when we’ve had babies, even though they’ve all been cesarean sections, we never missed more than one week of church each time.

I don’t think the problem is that we’ve missed services.  The problem is that we don’t care that we’ve not gone.  I don’t feel guilty about it.  I don’t feel sad about it.  No one has missed us; no one has brought it up to us; nobody noticed.

The last couple of years have been tough for us as we sought out the right church family for us.  We left our home church of over a decade because even though we’d been there for so long, we had only acquaintences, no close and true friends.  It didn’t seem worth it anymore to drive across the city to get there.

We found another church close to home that I really liked, but Jon had reservations about.  I attended playgroups and baby showers like crazy trying to get to know people and make friends.  I got to know people, but somehow it wasn’t enough - we still didn’t feel welcomed, or like our family fit in there.  Jon and I tried to get involved in our respective ministries of choice and boy it was a rough road - not an easy “we can fit you in here” situation in any way.  We waited over a year to be placed in a small group.

One week, we visited another church a little farther from home and it seemed to offer everything we were lacking in our walk, especially a regular men’s event (weekly) for Jon, which I was insistent that he needed.  It offers many other ministries that we’d love to be involved in, but can’t due to Jon’s work schedule.  We started attending there anyway, so we could go to church with my mom; the boys were thrilled to go to church with Grandma.

However, there are still not any small groups for us.  I don’t fit into the mom’s group there, which is full of babies much younger than my kids.  I tried out the crafting group, but there wasn’t anyone in the same age or stage as me.  I am having a serious church identity crisis here.  For so long, church has been my social outlet, but now…  Where do I fit in?  Where does my family fit in?  Is there anything out there for a family of young parents with four young kids?  I am weary from searching and not finding.  My kids need to go to church.  Jon and I need Christian friends for ourselves and our children.

Did we make a mistake even starting this searching?  Since we left our home church a mom’s and tot’s group has been created there.  Girls nights have been created (I think) there.  I have become closer friends with some of my acquaintances from there through monthly book club meetings.  But it’s still far away, and even if we do make friends there, they don’t live near us.  We’ve had more than one person in our lives tell us that we “live too far away” since we’ve moved to this part of the city, and if we attend a church that is a half hour drive from our home, isn’t that just asking for more of those comments?  They are quite hurtful, to tell the truth.

I am lost.  We are lost.

I don’t want sympathy friends from this post.  I don’t want judgment from this post.  I don’t know what I want from it, but I had to get it off my chest and let people know we’re struggling in this area.  Please pray for guidance for our family so we can make some decisions about our church life, stick to them and start the new year off right.  We need to find a church home with a bible study group that welcomes children and that meets on Saturday or Sunday evenings, at least once per month.  We need an enriching Sunday school program for our children, that keeps them interested and is maybe something they’ll look forward to attending…something that they won’t cry at when we drop them off there.

I guess I could probably babble on about this topic forever, and likely many of our readers have a lot to say about it too, so feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts or experiences with this.  Just please be kind with your words.

~Amber~

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Why we did it, I don’t know…

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

But we did.  And are we better for it?  Perhaps.

Some might think we’re crazy.  Maybe WE think we’re crazy…

We went to the mall and to Walmart today.  As a fine family of six.  In balmy -30*C temperatures (that’s -22*F for our US friends).  Four days before Christmas.  It was a great adventure.

We generally don’t do this, but we’ve been stranded in the house for quite awhile now and Claire was needing some relief from a regularity problem so we had to venture out for that reason at the very least.  It went fairly well.

In the mall, we had a delicious meal - our regular - of Subway ham and cheese subs for the boys and OPA! Souvlaki for Jon and I.

A man scowled at our boys after Andrew ran into him.

A wonderful family sat next to us in the food court.  They had four children like us.  The row we were in looked like a birthday party group.  I found it rather relaxing to have them next to us; I knew we’d not be judged and stared at by them!

As we ran across the parking lot from the mall to Walmart, Andrew was nearly hit by a car and a kind couple walking behind me offered to help me maneuver the stroller and Andrew through to the store (Jon and the two oldest boys hopped in the van to drive it closer to Walmart).

The crowds in the store were not that bad.  The lines were not too long.  But the cashier was not friendly, and when I wished her a good day, she actually grunted back at me.

The cashiers in the photo section were much better, and even though they had a tough time finding the pictures I ordered online this morning, they did eventually find them, and presented them to me with a smile.

We stopped on the way home for slurpees; one each for Jon and I and one for the boys to share.  Apart from the time that Andrew kicked Josh’s fingers so he fell off the cart flat onto the store floor, the boys were actually fantastic when we were out today.  Claire was good as well, of course. 

We came home and cranked the heat and each found our own blanket, turned on the TV to the Christmas specials and enjoyed our slurpees.  Jon is making popcorn now and we’re just settling in for a family viewing of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  Our tree lights are aglow, and we are cozy and blessed.

Jon has 15 more days off, and so do the boys.  I am looking forward to these two weeks being full of fun family time, reconnecting with each other and having fun together.  Our boys have been really missing that lately, with Claire so small and then Jon’s accident, they’ve had to do things for themselves or wait until I was free to help them out with a lot of things.  They’ve been moody and grumpy and impatient and angry.  Hopefully we can work together to get out of this phase quickly!

Merry Christmas, everyone!
~Amber~

Posted in Kids | 2 Comments »

Friday Stuff

Saturday, December 20th, 2008

Breakfast
Do you still have gifts to buy or are you done with your shopping?