The past week has seen me spending so much time with other grown ups doing grown up things that my mind is kind of blown. I really like it. Like really really.
Last Thursday I got all spiffy and went to a gala (a GALA – ME!!) where I was treated like a regular everyday person. Well, a special regular everyday person. People were interested in me, in what I fill my time with and in what my background is. Spending time with the CGA greats was so refreshing to me…it was an amazing evening that renewed my passion for socializing, for meeting people and for dressing up, up, up!
Saturday I faced a fear – singing front of others. When you are in a small group, you are going to be heard, no way around it; especially if you are the only one singing your part. But for once, my time serving God within our church community would not be about children. It would be about music, a love pushed completely to the side during the lowest times in my anxiety journey, and left there in my hesitation to show the emotion that singing to God inevitably brings on. I rediscovered a new part of myself that has been gone for a long time; such discoveries bring a lightness to my busyness, which has lingered.
Saturday afternoon, I crafted with adult friends. It wasn’t the rushed frazzled scramble of crafting with kiddies, but the laid-back chit-chatty or no talking at all kind of adult crafting. Just being with another person while creating has always brought me such peace; the careful work put into something that turns out to be amazing, made from a few bits and pieces that might not even go together at first. Crafting is one of my happy places.
On Monday night I attended an adults-only birthday function where I got to dress up a little, interact with family distraction-free, eat fancy cheeses on fancy crackers and drink fancy drinks. I met new people and had long conversations about life and work, and saw a high profile politician out of the spotlight. I got to cuddle my sweet baby nephew; the only little in the room. And when I walked alone to my van in the dark that I had parallel-parked like a boss, my heart soared at the wonderful time I had had, and I smiled because everything everywhere was taken care of and nobody was needing me and that felt great!
Last night and tonight I got to spend time in non-child discussion with grown ups too. Our Wednesday connection group is always a nice recharge for me; a time to connect with others and hear what’s going on in their lives, and tonight I got to discuss business at the school council meeting. I even had a mission – to bring up parking issues, which are really becoming a big deal for the residents of our condos. I went in as a rep from the condo board to bring light to this problem and ask that we work together to resolve it. I always get a nice rush of pride when I have a planned out ‘something to say’ and can use my big voice to talk to a roomful of big ears. There were so many new faces at the meeting, and seeing parents interested in being there and learning about and contributing to discussions about things that are important to them and their children is thrilling to me. I’m so proud of them! Some families in attendance this evening have only been in Calgary (in Canada!) for a matter of weeks!!
I am so blessed to have had so many opportunities to meet new and diverse grown ups this week. It’s fabulous, and I am just falling more and more in love with socializing every single day, which is honestly something I thought I’d never say. Just this afternoon, a relationship went from acquaintance status to friend – an occurrence that kind of caught me off guard (God is amazing!). And the office admin at the school actually hugged me this morning because she was so grateful for my attitude about a photocopying job she gave me. I thank the secretaries every week for letting me help out in the office and they always laugh at that and say, “No, thank YOU!!” I love them.
These are my people; this is my life. My life has revolved around children for so many years that I’ve been blinded to people my age (and beyond) around me that I can have relationships with, and that want to have relationships with me, simply as me. My kids are growing up, and that is bringing a freedom where I am finding myself in new situations, spending time with people who are fully functional, all on their own, with no help from me and no expectations of me. It seems silly, but there it is. Suddenly I feel like a grown up and not like a child playing house. It really doesn’t suck at all! <3