Every year right around this time, I take stock of what the year has been for me and begin to look at the year ahead. Eventually I get down to three little words…more or less.
What should I do more of, going forward, and what should I be doing less of? What do I need more of in my life, and what needs to be less?
This year as I sit and ponder, my intuition is pushing me; challenging me. I have actually been working on my end of year review for about two weeks now…a lot of that time spent simply as a bystander watching my heart and mind battle it out. In preparation for the year to come, I need to complete some difficult tasks that I have been putting off. At the risk of sounding like a whiny toddler…I don’t want to. While there are some decisions I can put off making, I know in my heart I would be delaying what is inevitable. I will feel that constantly in my day to day until I succumb to the pressure of my logical brain.
This next year is going to be very testing for my family in a way that we’ve never been tested before, and I want to set us up for success by doing some preparation before 2015 begins. I need to have everything in place and a schedule made, so there are no surprises for me or for anyone. Oh how I dislike surprises.
All this said, I am super excited for all that will transpire this year. As Jon settles in even more to his dream job, as the kids try out new activities; as I finally arrive at my time for schooling and a career change…there just won’t be a dull moment. I know it. All of these things are among the constants. And the more or less things, I will just have to keep working on those, and hopefully the answers will present themselves in a very clear manner.
I know you are curious about the top two things on my more or less list, so here they are, for your reading pleasure.
1) Shall I make MORE of an effort to spend time with friends I’d like to get to know better, or should I just let that go?
This one has been on my list for many of the past years, but I’m still working on the courage part. My efforts have not been well-received in any of my attempts, which makes it incredibly difficult to ask people for their time. My brain says stop, but my heart says of course you should continue to reach out to others. It just might be time to stop.
2) Shall I continue to be an open book in word and deed in person and on social media, or share LESS of myself with the world?
In this case, the difficulty comes in shutting myself up because I like to share and I want to connect. However, I’ve had mixed advice on this from a variety of people ranging from acquaintance to best friend. It goes hand in hand with number one above, where I feel like people consider us friends because they can relate to so much of the regular day to day life I share online, but they would never hang out with me in real life. These superficial relationships haven’t bothered me much until recently when I realized that people really are out there stalking my struggles for their own personal elevation. Oooh the heart and brain have battled over this one so much lately, as I’m sure my facebook friends have noticed.
And now you’ve had a small glimpse into my conundrums. I welcome anyone’s thoughts on these that may shed light on the issues. Any experiences with this stuff to share? Have you stepped back and pulled away from sharing yourself before? How was it? Let the commenting begin; my time management for 2015 depends on the decisions I make this week.